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pouring out

February 10, 2012

Sometimes…

The constant

boogers, poop, snacks, messes, emptied drawers, reading of Dear Zoo, thump-thumping instead of pitter-pattering, lost necklaces, lost pacifiers, whining, tantrum-throwing, question-asking, undressing, wardrobe changes, playdoh on my socks, laundry, nap disrupting, spilled smoothies, falling, pushing, eye-poking, accidental injuries, night waking, night bathrooming, night sock-replacing, and gentle and no-so-gentle reminders about sharing/not jumping off the furniture/sitting down on the chair/getting off the table/hand washing after we use the bathroom

can really wear a person out.

I really don’t want to build up resentment toward my kids for existing and having needs and for needing me. After all, I loved them before I even knew them!

So when I’m worn out, and when I’m wishing I could take a sick day, and when I’m certain I can’t take another second…

I think about that field.

I think about this and this.

I think about Jesus, gathering up these little ones, with all their drippy noses and frustrations. Praying over them, playing with them. Belly laughs and exuberance pouring out.

And then I try, try again to be the parent I want to be. To be Jesus in our home, arms waiting to embrace these little ones.

To get all smudged up with their beauty along with their boogers.
To submerge my fingers in the snow, the sand, the slime, and let wonder fill me up, too.
To see my children not as adults to be grown but as persons of innate worth just as they are, persons trusting, hoping, joying.

To pray.
To play.
To pour out.

***

This post has been linked to Emerging Mummy’s Practices of Parenting Carnival.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. February 10, 2012 12:34 pm

    Thanks for your comment on my blog. I very much love ‘Walking on Water’ and all things L’Engle! I loved what you said in your post about “Jesus, gathering up these little ones, with all their drippy noses and frustrations. Praying over them, playing with them.” What a vivid picture of our God loving our babies!

  2. Aunt Katie permalink
    February 10, 2012 2:13 pm

    Beautiful post Amanda! One I needed to hear this week!

  3. Gramma GG permalink
    February 10, 2012 5:06 pm

    Ughhhhh….this is SOOOO good!
    You must make your parents so proud!

  4. February 11, 2012 11:01 am

    There is such a reality to it all, isn’t there? Great post, beautiful perspective. Thank you.

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