Not Me Monday
On Thursday morning (after my parents had stayed overnight), I most definitely did not find my mom’s lip liner in a bowl of dirty dish water that was left in the sink overnight. ‘Cuz that’s just weird.
I did not leave a sink/counter/dishwasher filled with unrinsed/unwashed dishes — all weekend.
And I also didn’t discover a giant house centipede in the aforementioned dirty sink upon waking up to Day 4 of dirty dishes this morning.
I did not eat french fries with two of my meals on Sunday. Not me. I’m way too crunchy and organic to do something so unhealthy.
Oh, and we also didn’t go to Caribou twice on Sunday, for a grand total of three trips in two days. That would be ridiculous. So naturally I did not have a decaf almond latte, a decaf white chocolate mocha with no chocolate shavings, or a passion fruit green tea smoothie.
I did not spend yet another sunny afternoon outside photographing Ainsley in the yard last week. I just took 25v photos of her doing the same thing 18 days ago. And one month ago I took 100 photos of her outside. It would be redundant to take another 100 photos. It would be ludicrous to take 200 photos.
Our daughter does not have the occasional curl behind her left ear…
Dirt/whirlybird/grass/leaf/stick eating is not allowed in our family…
Ainsley’s top teeth, which I never call “bucky beavers,” have certainly not made their way into our lives.
We did not watch our daughter have a b.m. in the bathtub last week.
And when she finished, I did not pick up the chunk of poop with my bare hands and drop it in the toilet.
And after that I did not decide to just continue on with the bath as if it had not happened at all.
Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have the sudden urge to wash my hands.